The Power in Knowing


By Shanna Vavra


“ It is never wise to turn aside from knowing, however the knowing comes.”

I’ve had to learn to accept so many things along my ancestral journey, but I think the hardest thing I’ve had to accept is that some people are not ready to receive, not ready to face the truth, resistant to change.

So conditioned by the world that they would turn away from knowing, than to embrace the truth. They would rather be blind and not educate themselves, due to fear, rooted from hate and ignorance for generations.

To me, they are the ones now who are enslaved, to the hate they hold onto and bondage to the hate they refuse to let go and be set free of.

Afraid of change, SHAME ON YOU! Such hate shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

Being a sensitive and empathic soul this hurts that I can sense their shame.

I realize that I’ve not had to live a life judged by the color of my skin. My skin is “lighter than a paper bag” as they would compare in the south during segregation. White privilege is real thing… if you ever thought that wasn’t a thing? I am proof.

However had I lived in that time, like my ancestors the Louisiana French Creoles, according to one drop rule… I too, would have been considered black, not because of the color of my skin on, but the color of my ancestors.

Part of my ancestral journey was to understand why and what circumstances would push someone to make the decision to “pass as white.” I needed to know and I had to dig deep and educate myself, and face the ugly truths I learned that we’re hidden within my ancestral lineages.

Through my ancestral discoveries, I had to look pure evil in the eye and I cried for those who knew all so well what it’s like to live in fear because of the color of your skin.

I have learned with the deepest despair and disgust, many painful stories. I’ve felt hate towards ancestors who owned slaves, bred slaves, branded them, human beings inventoried and treated as livestock.

I discovered a grandmother from the 1800's who her name is "Slave of Therese" and grandfather who was her Master. I searched and searched a year to give her a name, and I found it!

I have cried for young girls who were forced to marry and have children at 14 years to old men who would go on to abuse them.

I have mourned for the families who have been separated and segregated, the denial of their own kin because of the color of their skin.

I have had sleepless nights, with the horrific reflections of the stories I’ve read of the Native American indians who’s land was stolen, murdered.

First Nation’s and Metis indians who were invaded, captured and taken from their sacred land, relocated from their ancestral land and forced to convert to Christianity.

I have read heart wrenching stories of hurricanes destroying cities, leaving no one and nothing behind, only reporting the names and number of deaths of white men and women.

I have cried for all the young boys and men who fought and died in war, most probably didn’t even know what they were fighting for.

Learning of the truths of the infamous Marie Laveau who was not the boogeyman evil witch portrayed by many make her out to be, but was a healer, her obituary titled “The Sainted Woman”.

Our ancestors had no idea, how their lives and choices would one day impact and affect the world today, you and me.

As I set out to discover the remarkable lives of my historical ancestors, I often thought why have we never been taught this in school? History not just lost within a family, but are important moments in American history.

The education we have received in school only skims the harsh truth, selected history told. Perhaps politically motivated, purposely hidden by those before us to keep those in fear, altered and control accounts of history, rewritten half ass stories based on race, class and beliefs.

We have been conditioned, we follow standards, rules and beliefs created by man, we have been programmed, generation after generation, we must not do but undo what has kept us down for lifetimes!

I did a lot of work, I dug deeper into my ancestry and into history, discovering so many shocking events that were buried. I dug them up, and exposed the truth.

Futhermore so however, I had to dig deeper within myself and face how all these realizations still affect myself, my family and this land we live on. It wasn’t easy untangling my roots, it wasn’t comfortable, so emotional and often was tired, but I needed to know.

In this truth and knowledge, I found freedom and healing. I’ve expanded spiritually in many ways through this. With a deeper understanding of who I am and how I came to be.

I’ve found peace, understanding and forgiveness, releasing and freeing all generations before me, just by acknowledging their lives, telling their stories, both the good and bad.

To not tell the story of the slave master, is to not remember his slaves, and to not honor that slave is to not honor the backs as to which this country was built on!

The awareness of some of their actions are painful, but it’s necessary to educate yourself, we must be brave, have empathy and do different, or we will never change, never grow.

The root of the word courage is "cor" is the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant “To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart.”

We must be courageous.

We don’t become better people, a stronger country by keeping quiet and denying the struggles we’ve faced. I am humbled with deep empathy by the strength and endurance of those before me, I will share their stories, their truths, both good and bad! They are no longer forgotten and we will heal and learn from this, growing stronger and wiser.

For those who are stuck and unwilling to seek the truth, I pray this for you.
…I pray to our Divine Creator for those who are blind and asleep. That they are wake the hell up from the ignorance and awakened to wisdom and find acceptance in the truth, that the generational karmic debt within, be deeply healed for all future generations. I ask for forgiveness for those before us and to free us from the bondage of hate that we’ve unknowingly carried for generations, throughout our lineage.

For with this knowing and acknowledgment of my ancestral roots, I have released this generational conditioning of hate, for yesterday, today and tomorrow. For my past, preset and future lineages! It’s stops right here! I am the hope they dreamed of in the future, and you can be too! Wise up folks!