In Eckhart Tolle’s book New Earth Awakening to your Life’s Purpose, he writes about an unconscious mental state of where unprocessed emotions when triggered, can suddenly awaken in a person.
Eckhart Tolle calls this the “pain body”. He explains that the pain body is part of the ego, and when the pain body is active in us, this can look like a really bad mood, the emotions deeply inside surfacing, and projecting onto others.
The pain body will continue to thrive as long as it is feed. It lives through the attention and interaction with others, as well as self destructive behaviors.
The pain body’s birth could be as old as its roots coming from your ancestors through dna. I never had a name for this but have discovered this to be true within myself during my ancestral healing, as well as with some of my Reiki clients. For many it is old energy, scars from childhood abuse or neglect, unprocessed grief, for example.
I love that Eckhart Tolle named this unpredictable behavior the “pain body”, it allows one to separate it from our true self. Which is exactly his idea of how to rid of the pain body. Having the awareness of the ego, shadow self or pain body whatever you choose to call this unconscious negative energy within and awaken to recognizing this in others. This is a great way to identify true emotional pain in a person vs their true self, the ego vs soul.
When dealing with another's pain coming out in an unhealthy way, we should not feed the pain body but starve it, by never interacting with it.
Since I have become aware of this, I have been able to see this in others as well as myself. There are many ways we feed the pain, picking a fight, isolation, drug and alcohol abuse, even reading, watching or listening to forms of media that is full of violence, trauma and pain.
I’ll never forget the day I met my pain body. Over a few months, this awareness had been very helpful in my relationships. As I identified the presence of the pain body in others, I learned to see the pain and not the person.
My reaction to the the pain is different now, my feeling towards the person can come from a place of compassion. I choose not to interact or feed the pain and detach with love until the pain body fades away.
I have since learned to identify when my own pain body is present. I sit with it, exam, where does this come from? Where, why and what is causing this pain?
I have begun to process past wounds I never even knew existed deep within myself. I have noticed that sometimes this pain comes out in force, only realizing afterwards. However I have become so much more aware.
This awareness has allowed me, to take responsibility almost immediately for my own pain body. I am gaining control daily, with new realizations of how I feed my pain body, and how pain has held me hostage for years.
The key is awareness, you must become the awareness of your thoughts and reactions. If you and your partner, or anyone your in a relationship with can understand this together, it can be helpful that when you identify the others pain body surfacing you can help them to see this.
However this can only work prior to the pain becoming fully present, Eckhart suggests that once the pain has fully emerged, to not interact with it, to starve the the pain body.
This is very similar to Carl Jungs “shadow work”.
You can say “not mine” and just push it down and out, but where does it go?
You sure it’s not yours?
Use discernment!
How does it make you feel?
Identify the attached emotion…
Connect with the underlying “cause” of the unprocessed emotion…
I believe this is what creates the shadow self and the pain body.
However, even the good stuff, for example, telling a child they don’t see anything, when the think they see an aura, just dimming their light.
These are unconscious associations of the ego. Others cannot make us feel, those feelings are within us. That’s why always being the witness of your emotions and sitting with, the what how and why.. can be huge.
Take inventory:
Be witness of your thoughts…
What aspects of yourself have you kept hidden?
Identify your negative brain chatter?
What traumas and situations from childhood or thereafter have you avoided, neglected, rejected, repressed, pushed down deep inside?
Beware of the energy vampires, needing to refuel on the energy of others. I have witnessed the pain in others for years, the angry alcoholic that drinks there pain away, only to have it come back day after day. Now looking for any reason to reflect their pain into another, because inside it hurts so bad, and if someone is willing to take it, the they will be happy to give it. In doing so you are now only feeding it and it is in ones nature to attach to those who feed us.
When you become conscious to this pain or shadow self, “pause”, become present, become the awareness. This will give you the power, control and space for you to process and you can then choose how to react. Master this, and you will set yourself free!
You will free yourself from allowing another to control you emotions. Taking back this self control is great self empowerment. Stop being a prisoner to your unconscious pain and worse someone else’s.
-Shanna
