by Shanna Vavra

A few years ago, Mande had gifted me for my birthday a 2 hour session with a Medium Intuitive Shamanic Practitioner. She connected with my ancestor I had discovered a year prior, putting together my family tree.

He was the medicine man of his Algonquin Tribe, he was Abanaki, his tribe lived in Trois Rivière, Canada in the late 1600’s. His name was Etienne Pigarouche, born to a Chief, with a famous sister who was the first to marry a Frenchman.

Etienne was known as many things, a shaman, a sorcerer, the tent shaker and most notoriously he is known as the “Apostate”. The medicine man who converted to Christianity. From the accounts of the Jesuits as well as documented stories told, there is much confusion of what the true history may be. The common story however told is that the Jesuits would provide weapons and protection, as long as he converted and be baptized into Catholicism, and stop all the tent shaking! However when the Jesuits would return, time and time again they would find him still practicing the same healing ceremonies of his ancient culture.

This was most difficult for me to discover, having to change your religion, culture, practices and beliefs in order to stay alive. Reality is this has happened throughout time, all over the world. In my family tree this was sadly only one of many generations that experience this.

When this amazing gifted Intuitive Medium shared with me he was present with us, she said that it was important that I connect with him. She suggested I do a Shamanic Drum Journey to do so, I was like, what?!!?! What’s that, where, when, how? She gave me a name of a local teacher who teaches classes. A very experienced Shamanic Practitioner who trained under the infamous Sandra Ingraman, and has been doing this for over 20 years.

Like the rest of my Spiritual Journey, the path was put before me. I knew nothing of these practices but I was being called, and I was listening!

I started the class was a Beginners Shamanism class, the Drum Journey was the core teaching of the class. In my class of about 15 amazing souls, we learned to journey to and work with the lower, (which is NOT hell, lol), the middle and upper worlds. The lower world is where we could connect with our spirit animal. Wanting to follow my teachers instruction, I set out to discover my spirit animal, but my soul knew why I was there, to connect with my ancestor the great “Tent Shaker” Etienne Pigarouche.

During my first drum journey, I successfully entered the lower world, with no obstacles. Drumming was a new experience, you are far more active with intention, compared to meditation practices. I was shocked as to how quickly I was able to go into trance. I also was amazed to find that this was a place I’d never seen before, was different than the many experiences, and places I’d escaped to in the years meditation. The colors were more earthly, forest greens, browns, mossy and darker. It captured my curiosity. I did like the teacher said, and I called for my spirit animal. It was not to my surprise, that this beautiful hawk appeared flying above me as I explored this unknown world, I was on a dirt path, dense with trees on both sides. It was a peaceful and a calm place, I wasn’t afraid, I was excited. I’d had a hawk that for years, was flying by daily in real life and I always felt it was significant. I even wondered as I explored the lower world if I had manifested the hawk. I asked it to show me around, and I walked the path as it guided me. I came to a widened area, and the hawk circled above, and as I my gaze left above, there before me was a wolf. My breathing changed, but not with fear, with excitement, as I watch the wolf change into a man that stood before me. I remember looking up at the hawk, like “did you just see that”? We didn’t speak, but I had a knowing this was my ancestor Etienne Pigarouche. Holy shit, right!?! My teacher never mention anything of the sort.

The quick beats of my teachers drum was calling the class back, I had to shift my excitement to remembering that I was in a class, and try to remember the directions my teacher had gave as to retrace our way out.

Upon returning back to the classroom, we were instructed to journal our drum journey, then if we wanted we could share our experience, what we discovered, our spirit animal, what we saw, felt... One by one my classmates shared their experience, the excitement of discovering their spirit animals. I honestly was speechless, I just blankly said hawk. No one else had such a strange animal merging into to man thing, so I didn’t share, I just journaled, and waited to share with Mande, she wouldn’t think it was crazy.

The next day in class, we were to journey into the middle and upper world. But for me… I was going back to the lower world, I had to explore this more, and so I did.

Over the months, I spent time getting comfortable with my drum. I felt so grounded, so supported. I read and studied everything I could about the First Nation aboriginal Métis indians. I learned about the history of how Etienne’s descendants would go on to be known as the Louisiana Cajuns. I begin to see the hawk more often, it was flying lower than ever. I learned to call the hawk that visited me each day. A few times its circled back to me as I called it, kind of scared the shit out of me the first time and I ran in the house.

Months had passed and a wonderful client of mine at Christmas gifted me an the Ancestors and Angels Oracle deck by Kyle Gray. I was so attracted and attached to them immediately. I couldn’t wait to go home that day and connect with them.

Like everything on my Spiritual journey, the Divine revealed to me. The very first card I pulled, was a pleasant surprise, unknown to me, The Shapeshifter! I didn’t know at the time, what that was or what it meant, but I knew him! The card symbolizes a shaman who has the capacity to transform into an animal to go journeying. The cards message was of transformation and connecting deeply with spiritual gifts.

It had been well over a year that I had been in deep research. Uncovering the many hidden truths of my ancestry and their history. I became aware at that moment, that one lineage after another after another were calling me. I had this vision of them standing in line. Awaiting their turn, for their stories to be heard, struggles and strengths to be discovered and acknowledged.

I became so familiar with some of them, I talked about them like I knew them personally. Called them by first name, even gave some nicknames. I have even given Etienne yet another name to add to his many, my Shapeshifting Grandpa!

Over a span of two years, they came, one after another. Each with their own story, some good, some not so good, a part of history I never knew. I had gained so much knowledge, at times it was overwhelming. As one ancestor left, a new one would appeared, it was like putting together a puzzle, and then… it was complete. It was like a strange silence came over me, quiet, yet peaceful. I had been tirelessly working on my ancestry for years now, good lord what would I fill my time with? I had gain so much knowledge about history and where I’d come from.

I understood so much more about myself and how I’d come to be. Each ancestor, whether I liked them or not was an important part of this puzzle I’d been putting together. It was like I sat back and had this prideful, satisfied feeling of oneness and wholeness. I am a part of this amazing, beautiful, historical masterpiece.

For now, the puzzle is complete and whole. However not over. Through our ancestors stories, they now will live through us. Their wisdom, knowledge and strength, will breathe through us, never to be forgotten. For all future generations shall know them.

Click on the picture below to begin your Ancestry Journey!